Biblical Indigestion

Epic Indigestion Pain
I think I ate too much

Occasionally terrifying but usually humorous following the incident, there are countless examples of individuals calling for emergency paramedics, only to find that their suspected heart attack is, in fact, no more than a case of truly epic indigestion. Of course, any person in any situation experiencing chest pain would be wise to seek help. But the number of people returning home within the hour carrying a bottle of Pepto Bismol and a rather red face is quite spectacular to say the least. Oh, the festive Christmas spirit!


Paper Cuts

Christmas Paper Cuts
photo: pixabay.com

How bad can a paper cut really be? Well, the short answer is pretty awful – depending on the thickness of the paper in question and the sensitive disposition of those involves. Forget those annoying and niggling little scratches occasionally picked up from a sticky-note in the office. The emergency room is inundated with calls and visits from individuals with spectacular lacerations from the very packaging that bore their otherwise wonderful gifts. True story.


Dropped Items

Tricky Turkey
photo: leitesculinaria.com

Perhaps not amusing in its own right, but when considering the fact that some of the most common items responsible for broken toes and extensive bruising are frozen foods, it becomes a little more difficult to keep a straight face. Indeed, many a turkey may have lost the battle when it comes to serving as Christmas dinner, but this does not mean they cannot have the last laugh before going in the oven.


Domestic Rifts


Why oh why people the world over decide to use Christmas to air their grievances we may never know. But the number of hospital admittances following all-out fistfights with close family and best friends simply defies belief. Season of family harmony and love to your fellow man? Not according to those trading blows around the tree…


Overindulgence of alcohol

Drinking with friends

Finally, the biggest cause of hospital visits of all. A little too much of the proverbial Christmas spirit, right? With incidents ranging from slips to falls to burns becoming stuck in toy cars built for a five-year-old rather than a fully-grown adult, the lesson remains the same. There is no time of the year that gives anyone the right to go OTT with the booze. A few glasses of sherry to facilitate a rousing karaoke rendition of the Little Mermaid OST maybe. But when the room begins to spin, it’s time to put the glass well and truly down!


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